physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
