im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
