woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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