Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
there was a trapeze. enough said
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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