Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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