I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
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