No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
