Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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