I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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