mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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