my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
