just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
