just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
