it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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