if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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