I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
