i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
