I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
