How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
