hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
