maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
