I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
17 year olds will be the death of me.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
