Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
