Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
