yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
He kissed a someone with a penis
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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