maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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