so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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