If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
