UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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