you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just want to make out with him forever
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
