I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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