I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
there was a trapeze. enough said
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
