just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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