Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
