1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
