This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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