Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Send help, water and tortillas.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize