I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
