he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
