There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
