oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
