Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
