if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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