I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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