Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
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