WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I currently don't understand fingers.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize