it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
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