go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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