Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize