he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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