Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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