is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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