Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize