Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize