The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
