I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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