think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
