I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Randomize
