I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
