On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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