i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
My feet surprised me
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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