hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
try to milk me bitch
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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