When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Randomize
