why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
