wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
