Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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