its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
