I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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