yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
