I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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