I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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