In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
