I wannas sexs uuuuu
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
